lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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