I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize