Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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