grandma shit on top of the toilet
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I need to calm my uterus...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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