if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
