Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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