the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
