I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
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in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
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i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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