time to smoke my breakfast
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
