Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
