You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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