babies were throwing up all over the place
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Randomize
