I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Randomize
