Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
smell my finger.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
