i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
