I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
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He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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