i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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