Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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