Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
