you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
