Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
