Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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