You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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