Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
