It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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