Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
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