Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you had me at cake vodka
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
