i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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