i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
