so that wasnt chicken after all
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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