he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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