now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
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The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
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Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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