Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
