are you so shy because you have an std?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
