I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
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The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
50% drunk capacity currently
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I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize