How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
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I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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