Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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