jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?