so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
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By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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