im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!