Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This baby is an asshole
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize