in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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