You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
