The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
