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I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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