Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
