i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
