the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like giving head to a cactus.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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