Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
soo... how was my night?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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