Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
