what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize