OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
