Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize