My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
