I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
