A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
