I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think my moral compass just broke
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