We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
