I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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