Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it's great music for shaving your balls
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
