I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
