HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
