OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
