I want to make a zoo with you.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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