I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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