We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
