If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
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so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
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You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.