The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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